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Bird Medicine at Sunrise

6/13/2010

Bird Medicine at Sunrise – New Moon – Saturday, June 12, 2010 by Tonia Pinheiro

I really didn’t want to do this. However, after our Wednesday meditation we were discussing what would happen at the Late Planting Sunrise Ceremony on Saturday morning and Three Arrows said, “You all need to go,” then looked at me, pointed his finger and said, “especially you.”

It’s 4 am Saturday morning and I finally get out of bed. I’m mostly ready so by the time I get in my car it’s exactly 4:30. The ride is flawless with almost no traffic and almost all green lights. As I enter Mattapan Square I notice several seagulls fly across my path, left to right and right to left, as I start up Blue Hill Ave.

I arrive at the Brookline Reservoir and discover that I’m driving right behind Aziza. I make a U-turn at the light and park across from the Reservoir. I get out of my car to make sure she sees me. She does and parks right in front of me. I go across the street to see where the entrance is and a tall man with a Collie dog walks up and greets me. He asks if I’m here for the Sunray Meditation and I say yes. His name is Jim.

As he walks on, I return to Aziza and we decide to put our bags in the trunk so we have less to carry. I give her a walking/ceremony stick and with folding chairs on shoulders we walk across the street, along the fence and up to the opening where we can enter the park area.

We navigate down the steep grassy slope and appreciate the mildness of the morning and the beauty of the sky. As the ground levels off I see to the right four big grey-black feathers lying close together on the grass. I pick them up and bring them to where Jeanne is setting up. There’s a single feather lying on the ground in front of her so I place the four feathers on the ground in the four directions around the central feather. Then I see on the ground 3 more, smaller feathers nearby. I gather them up and place one next to the central feather but in the opposite direction. Now one central feather represents pointing to heaven and Father Sky and the other represents pointing to earth and Mother Earth. The remaining two feathers I place in the northeast and southwest.

We begin the ceremony using our sticks for The Dance that Sweeps Away Illusions. Carol Ann joins us. Then we do the Dance of the Four Directions, 9 times. Jeanne sets up an altar and we do the Sunray Basic Meditation. We finish by making prayers and cornmeal offerings.

As we prepare to leave, I gather the feathers and offer one to each person. I say that I think they must be goose feathers. Then we say our goodbyes and depart.

As Aziza and I make our way back to the opening in the fence I notice two tiny baby birds, each with a white ring of feathers around its neck, sitting at the bottom of a double trunked tree with green growth in a couple of spots. I point them out to Aziza thinking what a beautiful picture that would make.

As we stop to admire them the one on my right flies toward me. I have a momentary flash of remembrance of being a small child swinging on the swing in my back yard. A hummingbird flies over and hovers, buzzing in front of my face. I screamed in terror thinking it’s a huge bug and run away.

This little bird flies right up to me and lands on my left shoulder. I stand very still. Then it flies up and sits on the top of my head. I can feel its tiny claws on my scalp. It stays there for about a minute and seems to like it up there. I'm in a state of quiet disbelief that this is happening to me. After a while I put my finger on my head and try to get it to step onto my finger but it seems content to just sit where it is. I walk over to the tree and try to gently sweep it onto the tree but it doesn’t move. Eventually, the little bird decides to step onto my finger. I see how truly tiny it is - about the size of a golf ball or avocado seed - and notice that it must be a baby because its feathers are still fluff in places. Baby bird and I greet each other face to face before it flies away. I asked Aziza what happened to the other one and she said it flew away when this one came to me.

Aziza and I are both awestruck. She says, “It went right to your crown chakra. This is very auspicious! I’m going to look up birds in my medicine cards book when I get home.” Nothing like this has ever happened to me, ever. I was deeply moved, honored, humbled. Tears of gratitude and awe welled up in my eyes and heart. I stopped a few more times as we ascended the hill to look at her and say, “Wow!”

Seagulls. Goose feathers. And I can still feel the baby bird’s claws on the top of my head. I wonder what happens next with all this bird medicine around me.

P.S. This event showed me that I have evolved to a place of centeredness and inner peace sufficient enough to attract this baby bird. It has not yet learned to fear so it came to commune with me.

CODA - June 18, 2010 - 5 days later:
I look out into my yard from the kitchen window and see a dark lump in the grass. I go out to investigate and discover that it's a live bird, dark feathers, round bill, webbed feet. I'm not sure if it's a duck or a young goose. It sits still as if it were sitting on an egg. I touch and gently stroke its head asking "What's the matter? Why are you here? Are you injured?" The answer that comes into my mind is that it was separated from its flock by a hawk.

When it gets up and starts to walk around I see that it's about 12 inches high, has a set of striped feathers on either side that are deep irridescent blue-purple with a white and black border. Eventually it walks away and I worry about its safety.

So, twice in one week I have been in physical contact with a bird. I'd love to hear your comments on what that might mean.

Duck in my yard

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Apology & Obama - Nov 9 2008

6/13/2010

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An Apology for Slavery and the Election of Barack Obama
An Open Letter and Personal Account by Tonia Pinheiro, Sunday, November 9, 2008

This has been an incredibly deep experience for me . . . at the cellular level. For several days before, during and after the election I was compelled to stop doing just about everything to focus on, anchor, absorb, feel, birth our new president. There was nothing I could do except to go with the massive energy flow I was experiencing from Sunday November 2nd until late on Thursday, November 6th.

Suffice it to say that this election was huge and all consuming for me energetically, emotionally and spiritually. Following is some of what I experienced . . . and for those who may not know me, I call myself multi-racial as I embody the following genetic blood lines: Cherokee, Seminole, African (several countries), Saudi Arabian, Ashkenazi, Irish, German, English, Spanish, Polish, Ukrainian, Lithuanian, Russian.

On February 16, 2008 (coincidentally on the Saturday preceding the Presidents' Day holiday), I and 15 of my fellow True Story Theater actors were on our annual day long Winter Retreat. Present were men and women of various races and nationalities.

One of the stories we heard and played back that afternoon came from a young black American woman who told of her deeply moving experience in Africa as she stood at one of the places where captured Africans were chained together before boarding the ships that would bring them to America as slaves. These were chains so heavy she could not lift them. Following her emotional story, a white American woman read a published article she brought entitled "Apology for Slavery" and asked that the white actors enact that apology as authentically as possible after the playback of the teller's story. (It was revealed both hours, weeks and months later by various members of the troupe that this request created both a disturbance and an opportunity for those who agreed, those who refused, and those who were confused and/or conflicted about whether to participate in the apology or not.)

I participated as one of four actors in the 'chains of slavery' story. As the playback began, I stood on the sidelines, rooted to the spot on which I stood. I was literally unable to move or enter into the improvised action. A powerful force of energy flowed through me, anchoring something profound through me that I could not identify at the time. It seemed like many minutes passed before I was released from this massive download and was freed to join the other actors. During that frozen time, angelic and divine beings, ascended masters, and ancestral representatives flooded into the room through the gateway that was me. Soon, I was set free to enter the scene but the story became much more than the teller's story. It kept shifting back and forth between one person's present day experience and the story of the people who lived that particular time line and reality. It was almost like channeling on behalf of those whose voices had been silenced and all of the actors in the playback held different parts of this energy and dual story.

When the story was finished and we were all seated again, I watched silently as one by one each person stepped onto the stage area. Each statement began with, "I apologize for . . ." or "I'm sorry for . . ." or "I apologize on behalf of those who . . ." There were about 6 spontaneous apologies that came from the heart and went something like this . . . I apologize for stealing your wisdom, your spirit, your leaders and your shamans. I apologize for denying you your ancestral lands and culture. I apologize for stealing, raping, beating, and killing your men, women and children. I apologize for separating the members of your families from each other and cutting off the knowledge of their lineages and ancestors. I apologize for those who made laws to enslave you and those who ignored the laws that freed you. I apologize for those who continue to hide the shame and guilt of the past with denial, hate and a refusal to apologize.

Upon hearing the very first apology I began to cry. I wept. I sobbed. My hands to my mouth I tried to hold back the sounds of anguish and disbelief being released. I wanted to hear and savor every word that was being said. These stifled tears were mine, my ancestors, and the tears of humanity. I felt like a faucet for the unshed and now released tears of all of those who had ever experienced slavery and oppression of any kind – both actual and internalized. They could now cry and release through me.

When all had spoken, when the apologies were complete, my voice was unleashed. My wails and sobs filled the room. I cried out loudly with gut wrenched tears of release, relief, gratitude, vindication, validation, awe and peace. My tears flowed on behalf of myself and all of those who had gone before, endured before, broken barriers before, suffered before, died before. All of my bloodlines received these apologies. All of the races on this planet - black, white, red, yellow and brown (and in millennia past green, blue and violet, too) - who had ever been subjected to domination, slavery and genocide were present and represented. They too received these apologies.

In that moment I took the floor, took space and took time, without apology, to declare through wails and rasping sobs that what we just did - the story and the apology - was HUGE! Bigger and more profound than any of us could ever know. We were proxies on behalf of. Each one of us in the room represented every point of view that is held on the subject of slavery. We told one woman's story and made a heartfelt apology for enslaving the Africans who were brought to this country. We did this too, perhaps unconsciously, perhaps reluctantly, perhaps unwittingly, on behalf of all living beings – the two leggeds, four leggeds, finned, winged, crawling, swimming, above and below ground and water. We did this for all who have ever been torn from their homeland by an oppressor. We did this to free all those who have continued to unconsciously perpetrate their internalized versions of oppression and slavery on themselves and project it out onto others. And we did this for all of the oppressors throughout history who have ever wanted but never got or took the chance to apologize. We were a microcosm enacting a new desired reality for the macrocosm, in the now moment.

Fast forward to the 2008 campaigns for presidential candidates. Here comes a man who quietly asserts himself and his vision for our country. This is a man who is clearly overshadowed by Divine Presence and Providence.

It is November 4, 2008. I managed to stay awake the entire night before editing some of the chants I've recorded. I managed to stay awake long enough to go and vote at 10:30 in the morning. As I got out of my car a black man who had just finished voting approached the car next to me. He looked at me for a moment and with timid inquiry said, “Obama?” And I replied, “Obama!” Oh, the sub-text in that moment of revealing our forbidden secret. He said, "You look like someone who would vote for Obama".
We 'came out' to each other and were connected in those moments of brief conversation.

When I arrived home I could not bear the suspense of minute by minute reports of who was winning which states so I slept until almost 8 pm. I have had too many disappointments in life. Things promised, things inevitable, sure things that never materialized. I've seen too many public figures who represent and embody peace and cooperation gunned down. I've had too many hopes dashed, wishes dissipate, promises forgotten, dreams denied. But we have now reached a critical mass - Americans and those who live in countries all over the world – choosing, even demanding, Peace, Acceptance and Cooperation as a way of life.

As I watched Barack Hussein Obama's acceptance speech I kept crying, weeping, sobbing. I felt the presence of my deceased grandmother (my father's mother who was child of a slave and slave owner) with me absorbing the experience of this first ever bi-racial U.S. president. The director at The Center at Westwoods (where I offer my work) is a white South African native. She said electing Barack Obama felt the same, and had the same powerful impact, as when Nelson Mandela was elected president of South Africa.

The whole process and event of electing this man who embodies our dreams, hopes, wishes, desires was affecting me spiritually, emotionally, socially, racially, genetically, energetically, you name it. I've been crying off and on from the sheer joy, relief, hope, and the deeper significance of what his win means and what the majority of this country and the world wants our immediate and long term future to be.

We have finally reached the critical mass that says no more fear and division, no more war and hatred. We have elected a president who represents our hopes, aspirations, desire for compassion and acceptance, peace and diplomacy, and new opportunities to develop and create what is best for the planet and her people.

President Barack Obama will continue to remind us YES WE CAN create the country and the world we dream about. He and his family are and will always be the defining symbol of “yes, we did.” They symbolize the highest and best that we can each be as individuals in our expressions, our choices, our relationships, and in the ways we serve others. Where we have come from historically and where we have arrived in our consciousness and intent is now showing up in our collective choices and reality. Congratulations people, keep up the good work!

Yes, we can. Yes, we did.

Tonia Pinheiro
Wake Up! Artist
http://WakeUpWorks.org
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
You are welcome to share this open letter in any medium as long as the contact information and authorship is included.

___________________________________________________________________________________________
I received and would like to share the following retrospective visualization on this historic and momentous event. If anyone knows who the author is please let me know so I can give proper credit.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
IMAGINE (author not known)

The year is 2016. You glance at the television one morning and see President Obama having another of his many press conferences. He has now been in office for almost 8 years. It has not been perfect, but things are much better than when he took office in January of 2009.

You notice that his hair has whitened and he still has that winning smile and that take charge/positive energy that he had when he was campaigning back in 2008.

You remember how concerned you were about whether or not he would win in 2008 and you feel deeply contented that he has been safely in office for such a long time. He and Congress have done much to address global warming, healthcare, development of alternative energy sources and a variety of other important matters to the country and the planet.

You feel deep gratitude for the past eight years and how things have unfolded.

See it...Feel it...breathe it...Pass it on. Let us...remember... all of the wonderful reasons we appreciate this reality.

THE NOW CHALLENGE:
Take 30 seconds right now.

Imagine exactly what our country will feel like.
Imagine how good it will feel.
Imagine whatever it is about that future that you desire.
Imagine successful diplomacy.
Imagine peace and restored prosperity.
Imagine the citizen groups, progressive populism, social justice, and the grassroots finding their voice.
Imagine windmills and clean cars.
Imagine the Earth being healed and revitalized.
Imagine being very proud of your country and its leader.
Imagine whatever it is that draws you to support change.
Imagine what your life will look like.

Close your eyes and imagine for just 30 seconds. Do it several times a day. We can shift and change the vibration of this country with positive visions just like this.

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Released into the Light - part 1 of 2

5/28/2010

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We were all released.

At first I thought it was just me. I had carried the weight of sorrow, disappointment and defeat all my life. Yes, I accomplished many good and worthwhile things along the way but not without struggle and outside opposition. I didn’t know that the weight I carried was not simply my own. After I woke up, I became aware that the weight I carried had been passed down from everyone in my genetic lineage who had ever been enslaved, imprisoned, or forced to live hopeless lives according to the rules of the few, and the judgments of real and invisible others. Yet I woke up that morning, feeling lighter, feeling changed, feeling a profound sense of relief.

I was swept up in a wave of powerful, unplanned events that began in February 2008. I agreed to participate in these events without knowing or thinking about the implications, or what would happen in the next moment, and the moment after that, and the one after that. One of the things I am is an improvisational actor. The first rule of improvisation is to say “YES, and…” to an impulse or an offer from another actor. And it seems that this particular “YES, and…” ultimately led to the election of the first bi-racial African American President. All of this happened in less than a year.

I belong to an improvisational theater company whose focus is to play back the stories that are told by members of the audience. We were exploring themes of personal identity. An impulse leapt from an improvised re-enactment of a story of how Africans were chained before being put on ships to the new world, to enactments of heartfelt apologies for that enslavement, to my release of a 100 foot tsunami of long held back, deep emotions from and on behalf of my African, Native American, Indian, and European ancestors. All of them were freed, released, vindicated and forgiven, through the present day me. On that day the acknowledgement and apology by the present day proxies of the actions of original perpetrators was received and released into the ethers of this country.

As I became more fully awake, I slowly realized that I too had been released and the light of day was so bright it was all quite easily seen. I was no longer a slave subjected to the whims and cruelty of an invisible but nonetheless real slave master. I was no longer an inmate in an invisible but nonetheless real prison that punished me for my long forgotten sins and allowed me to survive but not to thrive. I was no longer a victim of the abuses of an invisible but nonetheless real perpetrator of oppression. I slowly realized that I no longer had to punish myself, limit myself, oppress myself, or inflict pain on myself in order to beat the invisible “they” to it first.

They. Were “they” only in my mind? Were “they” just my distorted perceptions of others? No. The enslavement of my mind, the abuse of my emotions, the imprisonment of my spirit, had real beginnings in physical experience. But then, somewhere in the depths of my unconscious storehouse, it was decided that I would “beat them to it”. I would take away their ability to hurt me over and over again by hurting myself first. I would enslave, imprison, abuse and abandon my original radiant true Self – with my critical thoughts, distorted beliefs and false assumptions - and therefore could steel and numb myself from being hurt by what was happening to me from the outside.

Was it really true that everything I believed was ultimately a product of my mind choosing to believe one truth over another? Yes. “It’s all in your mind” is a truth. It has always been spoken as a dismissive statement, meant to demean and belittle. But it is also a truth.

When I was a young woman I believed that if I thought a desire strongly enough, my boyfriend would hear it and respond positively to it. I believed that I did not have to say it out loud and, despite the consistent evidence to the contrary, I continued to keep my desires locked safely inside my head and would think them loudly to my beau. One day, in a dream interpretation session with my mother, I discovered that this belief had been established when I was an infant. I would cry, or burp, or make a sound and magically my mother would pick me up, rub my back, feed me, change my diaper or play a sonata on the piano to entertain me. She was able to respond to my needs without me having to use words. My mind processed those experiences as “think a desire clearly and it will be satisfied.” That conclusion became a belief. That belief was not stored in the bin with my mother’s name on it. It was stored in the bin labeled “interactions with those who love you.” It remained misplaced in that bin until I discovered the truth behind that belief at age 26.

Today, when I look around me, I see that we have all won our freedom. We have all been awakened from the dreams of our personal hibernation. The covers have been and will continue to be easily removed, layer by layer. The heavy curtains that kept out the light of understanding have been thrown back revealing the brilliant light of the Sun.
(to be continued)

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East Coast Chant - the Beginning

5/4/2010

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2008-05-12: East Coast Chant was conceived on Sunday, May 11, 2008 (the 31st anniversary of my mother's passing) by Tonia Pinheiro in Randolph Massachusetts in response to the music of Martin Espino (See entry for 2008-05-20) and the ongoing encouragement and support of guitarist Paul Rodriguez and percussionist Ukumbwa Sauti. It is a combination of music concert, audience participation, and spiritual service for personal, social and planetary healing.

2008-05-20 (email sent to Martin Espino on the birthday of my late and most favorite uncle Bob):
Hola Martin, We met in Denver on May 10th at the Chinook Fund's evening event at the museum. Ancient and new are we. I am your sister and your friend. If you ever decide to come to Boston call me.

You know that feeling when you meet another awakened being who comes from your soul lineage, is on your same frequency, and resonates with you so fully that you long to create and play with them? I had this feeling with you. As soon as we began to talk and play my soul and heart recognized you ~ in lak’ech. I wanted to spend time with you, go deeper, play and twinkle more. This may yet happen, and when it does, oh yum! but for now I have you through your CD. And I want you to know how your music has affected me.

Your music has set me free. There were some shackles mental and emotional that were gossamer thin but strong like wire that I couldn't find a way to cut loose. Your album Curandero had all the sounds, tones, keys, harmonies, dissonances, rhythms, simplicities and complexities that my soul needed to awaken the power to express the fullness of my Spirit. El Nacimiento de la Princesa activated my throat and vibrated my heart chakras to new joyful frequencies. Mana danced all inside my body like a ball bouncing from one wall to another breaking down barriers and activating nodes of light that were present but dormant. The speed and notes in Los Voladores activated my crown chakra and brought it to full alert. Mexicayotl pulled the fear of public expression in my own name (not inside of a group) from my solar plexus. It brings tears of gratitude and relief to my eyes each time I hear it. It also tickles memories of something familiar and loved.

Every piece on your CD moves me. My soul recognizes the music and instruments but my ears in this lifetime have never heard (nor did I ever expect to hear) authentic ancient Pangean, Atlantean, Lemurian, Aztecan, Mayan music. I've heard other musicians play similar instruments and music of this kind but it did not go in like yours does. Your breath and spirit move through every piece, instrument, melody, rhythm and note and so, it went in. What joy, appreciation and gratitude to feel and receive this from you ~ who is the sound curandero, musical shaman, jokester, lover, wise man, warrior, artist, poet. What a gift. Gracias. And thank you for the kick in the butt . . . I mean, for setting me free.
In the One, Tonia

2008-06-27: It was supposed to be Improvelocity performing at Outpost 186 in Cambridge MA but once again 3 of the 6 members couldn't make it for various reasons which left me (Tonia), Ukumbwa and Paul to represent. The theme was "J.J.'s Birthday Concert ~ celebrating his birthday and the birthday everyone present, even if it's not today" and I decided to apply the elements of East Coast Chant without announcing that this was what we were doing. That way I could get a feel for it before we actually did it for real.

It was wonderful! There were 4 people in the audience: my honey J.J., my aunt Dorothy, and friends Brad and Rebecca. We opened with and interspersed improvised pieces just like we always do for Improvelocity but added performance of written songs. We did Fever, a song I wrote called Edgewalker, a call and response chant I'm Connected, improvised music to the reading of the lyrics Pirate Jenny which I first heard sung by Nina Simone, morphed something we were playing into Fragile by Sting, did a very cool rendition of Day-O sung by Harry Belafonte, and I did an amazing improvised / channeled song, something about Wind in My Hair and going into town at the request of the resident wise woman to get a reading from her. When lyrics flow out of me like that, that even rhyme in most places, I'm just as riveted as the audience as it unfolds.

J.J. was beaming to bursting that he received the gift of a personal concert on his birthday. Dorothy said "This place should have been packed! You're really good, and this is 100 times better than anything else I've seen you do." Brad said something like, 'You've got to sing in night clubs and bigger stages, your songs are amazing, you can't keep this from the public, I've never heard you sing like this before, it's amazing . . .' Then he repeated himself about 8 more times until I finally had to tell him, "yes, I've got it, I hear you. Would you please be my manager or publicist and find me venues?" Rebecca, who is a dancer (among many other things), said that the music was so beautiful and compelling that she had to get up and move. She was grateful that Brad was there to dance with her and she just couldn't remain seated after the first 10 minutes. So this helped me to realize that I had to add Ecstatic Dance to the list of offerings of East Coast Chant.

So once again, I say to the Universe: Get those people in the door and fill those seats!! I'll do the rest - well really it's You doing it all but I've got a mission to accomplish here and there are people who want what I've got! So help me reach them.

And I like to believe, given the coincidence of dates in May, that three of my most beloved relatives on the other side of the veil ~ my mother "Wilkie" who was my spiritual teacher and guide, my grandmother Lovie (we were each others favorite), and my uncle Bob who helped me understand what a truly loving father-figure feels like ~ influenced this creation somehow.

2008-07-27: The first public presentation of East Coast Chant on July 25th at Outpost 186 in Cambridge MA was just what I hoped for and provided a lot of good information about what could be better. On the plus side we had a nice audience of about 10 people in this very small room (20 max). One person came in because she "saw the sign outside" and stayed for the whole experience. One person said that she was very grateful to be able to release something that she'd been holding onto for a long time. This is what the personal healing portion is all about. If even one person walks away with a renewed sense of being, then we've accomplished our mission.

People liked the moving sacred geometry slide show and there were some magical musical moments and some not so magical. I listened to the recording the next day and was blown away by the beauty of a couple of the chants. It's so different when you're doing it vs. listening to it.

On the minus side, the flow felt a bit disjointed to me (sometimes it's better not to improvise) and the energy dropped a couple of times. One person said that it would have been helpful to be more explicit when beginning the personal and planetary healing sections. Good advice.

An unexpected experience was that I felt very out of it, disconnected, when we were finished. I had no inclination or desire to engage in conversation and felt a bit spacy. Must have been that healing energy pumping through me and my voice.

Big thanks to Michael K. for recording this pilot session for me and to Laurie D. for helping me pack my things. I was glad to have her extra help at the end of the night or I might have been there until midnight.

2008-08-11 East Coast Chant at The Arlington Center for Yoga drew 19 people who listened, sang, danced and participated.

The highlight of the evening for me was the releasing ceremony. I taught everyone the African American spiritual, "Run Mary, Run, You've Got A Right to the Tree of Life" then asked them to substitute their own name in place of Mary and to change the pronoun from you to I. This made it much more personal and meaningful. Each person thought of something they'd like to let go of and be free from (person, place, thing, situation, health condition, feeling, thought pattern, belief system, addiction, pain, etc.). While everyone sang, one by one each person came to the altar, dipped their fingers in the water to release whatever it was into the water*, stepped back to received the rest of the clearing from Ukumbwa who passed his Shamanic rattles over the front and back of the body and from me where they received a sealing of their energy field using my Ohm tuning fork from ear to ear over the top of the head. * I explained that they would not take on anything from the water because the talisman that was encircling the bowl was drawing everything out of the water, through the glass, and releasing it into the Violet Fire of Transmutation to be transformed back into pure white Light.

This ceremony was so powerful that I think I'll include it each time.

Laurie Douglas agreed to help me as a personal assistant and boy did I ever need her help. She is so competent and organized and a perfect companion for this work. I hope she can be available more and more often. We also had professional audio recording by my True Story Theater mate Jonathan Wyner who owns M-Works Mastering in Cambridge MA, plus still photos taken by my sister Sandy and video taken by my honey JJ. Thanks to Christopher Ellinger for loaning me his video camera. Not sure how any of the audio-visual came out yet but will post anything worthwhile on the ECC website.

2008-09-22 I notice how things appear quickly when they are in complete alignment with my purpose and in agreement with all aspects of my being and appear more slowly, or not at all, when they aren’t.

Last winter I received an email from a friend announcing that she was presenting a workshop at a place I had never heard of called The Center at Westwoods. Always on the lookout for new venues to perform and present in, I went to their website and discovered that they are holistic healing center in the town of Westwood MA only about 25 minutes drive from where I live.

Fast forward to June 2008. Improvelocity has officially dissolved its current configuration of personnel. Several of the musicians have encouraged me to go out on my own, do my own thing, sing and promote my music simply as Tonia. They said they would support me musically and this is what I needed to hear in order to make that giant internal leap from being a lifelong ensemble player to being a solo artist. I appreciated this encouragement because I really wanted to do this but needed some kind of validation or kick in the butt to actually do it.

You can’t imagine the many rationalizations and reasons I had to devise to convince myself that just like I operate in the business world as an individual consultant I could do this music thing on my own, under my own name, and it would not mean that I was being egotistical, narcissistic or fame seeking if I did. I actually had to convince myself that being a singer, under my own name and not the name of a group, was a necessary next step to beam my light into the world as brightly and effectively as possible in order to increase the spiritual light on the planet. So I kind of did and kind of didn’t.

On June 5th 2008 I submitted a proposal to The Center at Westwoods – under my own name – requesting that they consider hosting two of the musical healing things I do: East Coast Chant and Dream Songs. Of course, at this point East Coast Chant was only a concept and I had not actually performed it in public yet. But spirit was fully behind my request and so I sent it in. When I didn’t hear back on the proposal, at the beginning of August I called to find out the status. I was invited by the Executive Director to come in for an interview on August 7th which I did.

On the appointed sunny day, I turned off Route 109 and onto the long road where The Center at Westwoods was located. I turned onto the property and found myself on a winding drive in fairy woods of lush trees, wooded land, stones, stream, vast flat and hilly lawn, ponds, trails into the woods. There was a massive in-ground labyrinth with a large quartz crystal mounted in the center and surrounded on the outer perimeter by Tibetan Prayer Wheels in each of the four directions. There were many man-made shrines and places for meditating and contemplating life that included a large gong on top of a hill, a well that was reconstructed for sitting inside the earth below ground level, statues of Quan Yin, Saraswati, Ganesha, Buddha and other divine beings placed around the grounds. And that was just the outside.

When we met, the Executive Director explained that we had about 20 minutes, that she had looked over my proposal and websites and wanted to hear more about me. The 20 minutes expanded into 2 hours of conversation and a Dream Song demonstration. When the Dream Song was complete she said, “You’re the real thing.” Then she said that she would like to offer Dream Songs, East Coast Chant, dream study groups, and True Story Theater. I felt like I hit the jackpot! Never before was one of my proposals accepted for more than I proposed. We worked out the details of what we would call the different offerings, the fee rates to be paid, and the schedule for when they would happen.

When our work was complete I was invited to roam the building to see what was there. Yum! So many rooms . . .for sitting, talking, reading, meditating, praying, and doing yoga, energy or massage work. I realized that this was a fairly new building with hardwood floors everywhere with altars from every culture scattered about. I started my tour on the first floor and went up the back stairs to the second floor where I found more rooms small and large, and many more bathrooms. When I arrived at the front again I was on the second floor landing. There in front of me was a magnificent Chihuly blown glass chandelier hanging from the lobby ceiling. Wow!!! Then there was the meditation hall. It is a separate building that appears to be a converted barn with vaulted ceilings, a huge fireplace, windows galore, and a small meditation room at the top of a lighthouse type wrought iron spiral staircase.

I realized that this was a manifestation of the healing center I had wished to create many years ago and here I was and it was at no cost to me. Had I decided not to sing on my own I wouldn’t have found this place. Had I decided not to submit a proposal, I wouldn’t have found this place. Had I assumed she wasn’t interested and failed to call her back, I wouldn’t have found this place. And now, with physical validation in hand, I consider it my personal home base for spiritual healing and creative self expression.

2008-10-17 Tonight was our first Chant at The Center at Westwoods. There were 5 bold souls who came to find out what it was all about. They sang, they danced, they participated in the healing ritual. By the end of the evening they were all happy and planning to bring others next month.

2008-11-20 We tripled our attendance tonight and had a warm friendly audience. Many good chants and great participation. I even got one sour puss (her serious face seemed to say, I'm not going to enjoy this no matter what) to break into a big smile when I passed the singing bowl in front of her! That was my big YES! for the evening. Also had CDs available with chants that were recorded during the summer. I feel blessed to be able to share this experience with so many people and hear back from them about the healing they experience and the changes they see in others.

2008-12-21 We got snowed out for our Winter Solstice "shine your light from the inside out" chant. It was a tough decision but I wanted to be wisely safe than sadly sorry since travel was not good.

2009-01-16 The sparkle, twinkle theme was postponed to tonight. Only a couple of people wore something that sparkled. My inner guidance was right about bringing some lengths of tinsel garland. Just about everyone took a piece and made a sparkling crown, necklace or bracelet. The sounds of the 16" crystal singing bowl and the chants were powerful during the ceremony and most everyone seemed to experience a more positive, peaceful or uplifted mood by the end of the evening.

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INTIMACY

4/28/2010

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I have this thing about words. There are lots of them that have meanings hidden in plain view if you just speak them a bit differently than their usual pronunciation. Take the word ‘intimacy’ for example. In the 1980s Ron McCabe and Eric Linter created a deck of cards called “Miracle Cards” (not to be confused with the Course in Miracles deck of the same name done by Marianne Williamson) that I don’t think ever got published widely but did manage to find me in 1987.

One of the cards was called 'Intimacy' and the card description in the booklet said: “Into Me See. ‘If people knew who I really was I would lose their love.’ This is the greatest lie of the ego. It’s only when we allow others to see our truth that they can feel safe enough to fully love us. People psychically know when we are hiding our feelings and this creates mistrust. The practice of intimacy is the key to emotional liberation!” Wise insights.

Seeing this correlation between ‘Intimacy’ and ‘Into Me See’ opened up my curiosity to become more aware of these kinds of verbal Key Codes. I’ve found quite a few over the years but never really documented them, so now I will for our mutual enjoyment and edification.
~ Tonia ~

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Wake Up! Works 001 - Introduction

4/27/2010

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So, you want to know what all this Wake Up! stuff is about. Well, you've come to the right place! This column will bring you insight, personal stories and discoveries, guidance, exercises, concepts, plus faqs and answers to help you become fully aware of the essence and Source of who and what and where you really are. More to the point - the information provided here will help you Wake Up! your consciousness!

We have to start someplace, and that place is the understanding, knowing, feeling, awareness, actually getting it, or yes - waking up to the knowing that we are an individual expression of the Source of All There Is... that we are a part of a grand whole... that we are all ONE and at the same time unique discrete vessels of the ONE.

I've always been intrigued by the phrase “I Am That I Am.” Who is the ‘I’? What is the ‘That’? Why doesn’t the saying stop at “I Am That”? What is important about the final “I Am”? What does this statement want me to know or understand in general, and in particular about the nature of reality and my own nature? I did some research and found out that "I Am That I Am" is a common English translation of the Hebrew Ehyeh Asher Ehyeh which is the response God gave to Moses in Exodus 3:14 when Moses asked: When the people ask for your name what should I tell them?

‘Am’ is the first person singular of the infinitive verb ‘be’. On onelook.com I found the following relevant quick definitions which help to clarify the meaning of the statement "I Am That I Am" through the definitions of the verb 'to be': have the quality of being; have life, be alive; be identical to; be someone or something; occupy a certain position or area; be somewhere; happen, occur, take place; have an existence, be extant; be identical or equivalent to; form or compose.

If the Divine Source of All There Is is the I, and if anything one can conceive of in creation is the That, then the statement means Source is | Everything | is Source. That’s a mirror statement that means the same thing on the out-breath and the in-breath, backward and forward, outside and inside, front and back, top, bottom and sides. No matter how you look at it Source is everything and everything is Source. The I is the all, the Oneness, the ONE. So, if we decide this is true, imagine what I Am That I Am means for us personally, what it means for humanity collectively, and the implications of I Am That I Am in this 3-D world of duality! Does it change the perception of reality even a little?

If I turn my attention around and metaphorically look at the Sun for a moment, I realize I Am has been there the whole time even though the clouds (of this 3-D experience) may have obscured my ability to see or even remember that it is there. Just a little something to Wake Up! our curiosity about who we are.

More to come... In The ONE . . .
Tonia

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First Post!

4/3/2010

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About Abbreviating the word Christmas

It has been my personal and now life-long mission to change the way the word Christmas is abbreviated. It is yet another iconic change that has been difficult for me to get others to adopt. However, I have personally used C'mas instead of x-mas since 1987. Some have argued that it should never be abbreviated but it is. Thus this campaign.

A friend sent me the following to explain why people write x-mas: X representing the initial chi of Greek Khristos ‘Christ’.
http://www.askoxford.com/concise_oed/xma…

X, the Greek letter chi, first letter of Greek Khrstos, Christ; see Christ. Usage Note: Xmas has been used for hundreds of years in religious writing, where the X represents a Greek chi, the first letter of "Christ." In this use it is parallel to other forms like Xtian, "Christian." But people unaware of the Greek origin of this X often mistakenly interpret Xmas as an informal shortening pronounced (ksms). Many therefore frown upon the term Xmas because it seems to them a commercial convenience that omits Christ from Christmas.
http://education.yahoo.com/reference/dic…

"Christmas," 1551, X'temmas, wherein the X is an abbreviation for Christ in Christmas, from first letter of Gk. Christos "Christ" (see Christ). The earlier way to abbreviate it was Xp- or Xr-, corresponding to "Chr-," and the form Xres mæsse for "Christmas" appears in the "Anglo-Saxon Chronicle" (c.1100).
http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term…
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While this is highly educational and enlightening, this information　does not penetrate or influence the current consciousness and understanding of the masses.

Then there's the added 'teaching' I received as a child that said that the X is a symbol for the Cross on which Jesus was crucified so we will always remember he was born to die for our sins. Yeah, let's celebrate his birth with a guilt ridden reminder of his death. (And I'm not even going to get into the discussion about his actual date of birth not being December 25th.)

This is why I want to change the abbreviation:
Given our worldwide acceptance of what the symbol X means in modern culture's 'international' signs (not allowed, not permitted, don't, no, etc.), the X in the abbreviation for Christmas does it's insidious job - both visually and subliminally - on the human psyche and subconscious. Besides, in how many English words in common usage today do we substitute a Greek or any other language symbol in order to abbreviate it? None.

When seen with the physical eyes, C'mas has a calming and "unknotting" effect on my heart. It calls forth the Christ in my mind. It confirms and reflects the actual English spelling of the word Christmas.

Ultimately, it would be best to not abbreviate it at all. But I envision seeing all of those hand-painted signs that read C'mas Trees for Sale and After C'mas Sale and Big C'mas Event! embracing this grammatically correct abbreviation rather than continuing to use the subliminally denouncing and denying 'X' version.

I don't know how people get changes such as this accepted into the general culture - but it happens all the time so I know it's possible.

All you have to do is use it. When you do, watch and feel what happens. At first you may feel like you are breaking a sacred rule that may result in punishment or death for doing so. But in actuality, you are just doing what's right in the here and now. GO FOR IT.
C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS C'MAS!
~ Tonia ~

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Tonia Pinheiro, Author

Some of who I am, what I do, what I've experienced and how I think and feel is reflected on the pages of this website. At the moment, I'm creating blog entries about subjects I'm passionate or curious about along with sharing moment from my life and Wake Up! Works insights.

Wake Up! Works

Wake Up! is the call to listen to the inner knowing... to remove all the layers and veils of fear, unconsciousness, denial and self-illusions so that YOU can experience and live life and relationships as a fully conscious being, awake in the ONEness of your true divine nature.

For my Wake Up! Works column check the Categories section.

You can also find my archived newsletter messages if you scroll down the Contact & Newsletter page.

Bird Medicine at Sunrise

Apology & Obama - Nov 9 2008

Released into the Light - part 1 of 2

East Coast Chant - the Beginning

INTIMACY

Wake Up! Works 001 - Introduction

First Post!

Tonia Pinheiro, Author

Wake Up! Works

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